Funny Spam
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Yes, I know; nobody likes spam, most definitely not me. But one day while cleaning out my bloody HotMail account I just stumbled over a subject line that just made me laugh out loud (Number 2 below). I should of course have delved deeply into the darker regions of the web to find out how to make the sender of that particular spam feel miserable since sorting out spam nowadays takes more time: I now actually - oh, the horror - read the subject lines...
Anyway, just remember that a lot of pain and suffering has gone into compiling this list. I wish I could provide you with the real mail address of the "people" responsible for these mails, so that someone could commend their excellent work. Preferably in the form of half a million mails or so. But that would require me to actually read them, and I mean...I have to draw the line somewhere!
So here they are, the top ten of funny spam subjects. All with my comments.
Subject Line |
Sender |
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| 10 | Cannot find your website | morehits_rep@hotmail.com |
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Good. Excellent actually! Let's keep it that way shall we? |
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| 9 | Update: A man enters a barbarshop...and more funny pages!! | Jennifer James |
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Hmmm, I'm sorry Jennifer but I don't think we have the same kind of humour. What the heck is a barbarshop anyway? |
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| 8 | johan_borg Bigger breasts in 30 days. All natural and safe. | Quick Bust |
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And here I am trying to make them smaller. Are you saying I'm all wrong? |
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| 7 | patwat,The Ultimate Anti-Ager! | Juanita Hendry |
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What kind of a name is "patwat"? Or are you calling me a patwat? I'm not sure I like you Juanita. |
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| 6 | Get An Unsecured Visa Or Mastercard! | editor@optinsender.com |
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Well, thanks for the offer, but I think I'll pass. Feels kind of unsecure you know. |
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| 5 | I need your help to avoid sending you e-mails again. | @MyMailserver.com |
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Why? I really enjoy getting mail from you! |
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| 4 | Reasons To Trade Heating Oil | oil76tg@excite.com |
| "Reason #1: Winter is approaching, oil consumption may increase." | ||
| 3 | Snoring...Heart Attacks! Strokes! Surgeons say YES!! | DealsAlert |
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Well naturally surgeons "approve" of these things, that is what is paying their bills after all, but it is nice to hear it spelled out like this. And thank you for informing the public. |
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| 2 | Tired of life with only one USB hub? | USB |
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I must admit that I've never really thought about it this way. Now that you mention it I realised that I do not even have one USB hub. Not a single lousy one. I clearly have to take action. |
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| 1 | You are approaching your account size limit | Hotmail Member Services |
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Thank you for telling me this. Of course it has nothing to do with the fact that your lousy spam filter plainly does not work. No, it must all be my fault. I won't do it again promise. |
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Sorry, but I've given up. I could just not be bothered to try and read the subjects anymore. It's just too much. I'm certain there are loads of truly comical gems that will pass me by now, but there are only ~29 hours in a day.
So if you sent me mail on my hotmail account and I never answered, it is probably gone. Sorry.
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